Monday, March 25, 2013

What we can learn from individuals with special needs

We all have our moments where we like to complain that we're tired, frustrated, and stressed out.  I'm certainly guilty of this myself.  In today's fast-paced society, it's easy to get caught up in the assumed urgency of our own concerns.  This inevitably leads to feeling defeated because we can't accomplish everything we want to accomplish as quickly as we'd like to.
 
That's when I need to take a step back and realize what Josie teaches me.  In Josie's world, that fast-paced sense of urgency does not exist.  It cannot exist.  Josie requires more time to attain skills and accomplish tasks that we take for granted.
 Josie's disability does not mean that she can't do things that other people do, it just means that it's going to take her longer to get there.
 And those things that come naturally to those of us without disabilities, are things that Josie has to put forth a great deal of time and energy to learn.
 It's a slow process; one that requires an enormous amount of work on her part.
 But in time, she'll get there.
Seeing her work this hard, for this long, makes me incredibly proud, extremely grateful, and deeply humbled. The fortitude I've witnessed from this child truly highlights how much I take for granted. And when I take a step back and reflect on her journey, I realize how much I can learn from her.
 
Let's add it up: an unwavering perseverance + a positive attitude in the face of challenges that the rest of us could never relate to +  the composure to avoid toxic comparisons + a grace to ignore the inequities = pure admiration
 
I know God purposefully creates people with disabilities.  These people have an ability to impart extraordinary wisdom upon the rest of us.  And if we take away a fraction of what these individuals have to offer, we are undeniably better for it.

14 comments:

  1. That last picture of both girls is astounding. So many emotions on both their faces.

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  2. You always write such great things but this one has to be one of my favorites!I especially agree and LOVE the first sentence of the last paragraph! You and your family are inspiring!

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  3. LOVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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  4. I love this post. (great progression of pictures!)

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  5. I love your blog and think you're an excellent parent, but I would caution you against seeing people with disabilities as created by God to teach everyone else about life -- this is an attitude that many people with disabilities would and do find patronizing.

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    1. I believe we were all created by God with strengths and weaknesses and that we can all learn from one another. This is by no means exclusive to people with disabilities. My point goes out to those who may only see a person with a disability as a "genetic mistake" or those who value people with disabilities as less than those of us with higher IQ's. Individuals with special needs have just as much purpose and they have just as much to offer. In my experience, I have gained even more from my relationship with my sister than any other individual in my life. Pointing out how she has influenced me to be a better person is by no means intended to be patronizing.

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    2. You are so right! My daughter has taught me so much about grace. In the past 2.5 years her character has helped me grow more than any friend or loved one other than my husband ever has. It's so sad to me that Down Syndrome is considered a disability. I am learning to savor the moments, to appreciate the baby steps and stop and smell the roses along the way, and if you feel like dancing- for heavens sake Dance!

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    3. http://www.parenting.com/blogs/special-needs-blog/inspiration

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  6. Beautiful thoughts! I need to remember this more often--thank you!

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  7. Beautiful post - reminds me how incredibly strong and persistent my own daughter is :) And that last picture of the girls walking together is absolutely priceless :)

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  8. Hmmm...I think the comments for this post are almost as intriguing as the original post itself! :)
    I think everyone I encounter on a daily basis has an opportunity to act as a vessel for God to teach me or communicate with me directly. I don't believe it's their sole purpose in life...but I do have a responsibility to look for those lessons in the people I meet, whatever their age or gender or ability level. There is something for me to learn from the person who struggles at something more than I do and still persists. There is something to learn from the person who knows nothing about my situation but yells at me in public for my daughter's behavior (thanks, Pudge). There is something to learn from the person who shows me unexpected kindness and something to learn from the person who passes quick and unfair judgment.
    I appreciated your reminder to look for the lesson in unexpected places from unexpected teachers. It isn't my children's responsibility to educate the world, but the world would benefit from acknowledging my children have plenty of lessons they are capable of teaching.

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  9. I enjoyed this post, in part, because the various photos of Josie working so hard to achieve her goal reminded me of the hard work that my own little guy put in before he was able to walk. My 4 year old Josh has been walking for about two years now & to watch him speed around my home, you would never know about the many, many hours that he spent in therapy on a treadmill to help him accomplish what came so naturally to his peers. Josh reminds me everyday that if you work hard & you're determined, the possibilities for you are endless. There is nothing "patronizing" about thanking him for the inspiration that he provides.

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  10. Seeing her up on her feet just about made me cry! Go Josie! And yes, this is just so true. I have a reluctant walker myself, so I always appreciate your perspective on things gross motor, but I love this perspective altogether.

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