Wednesday, October 23, 2013

I survived my first IEP Meeting - Part 2

So, here's the deal: When it comes to the welfare of my children, like any parent, I tend to go into this protective "Mama Bear" mode.  And sometimes my priority of ensuring my children are safe, healthy, and treated fairly skews my (already questionable) perception of reality.  This IEP process became the only thought in my mind.  I so desperately wanted Josie to showcase her full potential you would have thought she was taking her medical school boards.  While I'm under no illusion that Josie has developmental delays (we adopted her because she has Down syndrome so I am perfectly okay with that), I also know that she's a really smart kid, extra chromosome notwithstanding, and she's worked really hard.  This testing lasts 3 years so it will carry her through kindergarten and I just wanted it to be a fair portrayal of what she is capable of. 
But here we sit, on day 2 of standardized testing, and the teacher has just thrown in the towel because Josie will not cooperate whatsoever, and I am feeling so defeated.  I needed to vent so I drafted an email to Courtney, a dear friend, who has two of the most adorable chromosomally enhanced kiddos you will ever meet.  She has been through the IEP process from the standpoint of both an educator (she is a BRILLIANT teacher) and a parent, so I hoped she would be able to talk me down from the ledge.
 
She wrote me paragraphs upon paragraphs of genius advice but here are my 3 favorites:
 
1.  If you are interested in working with your child on building skills that other preschool-aged children are working on in a public preschool setting, you can find guidelines online by going to Google and typing in:
(Your State) Department of Human Services Early Learning Guidelines
Um, Wow!  I didn't know that.  Did you?
 
2.  Do not allow yourself to be dismissed during the IEP process because you are new to the process and you do not understand how it works.  Educators think they know what is best for your child but it is your RIGHT as a parent to be considered an equal part of the IEP team and to have your voice heard in the educational decisions that impact your child.
 Repeat after me: I will not be steamrolled by any member of the IEP staff because I am an equal member of the IEP team. 
 
3.  In the previous blog post I mentioned the questionnaire I was asked to complete for the parent-submitted portion of the IEP.  Courtney explained that parental submission was not limited to that questionnaire and if there are skills I know that Josie has that she was not eagerly demonstrating on the day of testing, to film her demonstrating these skills and submit the video.  Here is a direct quote from Courtney: "ANYTHING you provide in the parent-submitted portion should show up on the Present Level of Educational Performance section of the IEP, so these aren't just suggestions you're making.  This is data that will be included as part of her permanent record."  
And that, my friends, was my Oprah "light bulb" moment.  The heavens opened up, the sun shone down, and I felt liberated.
So I dug out the flashcards, the shapes game, plastic toys in an assortment of colors, animals figurines, and the blocks from the regretfully un "standardized" alphabet train (ah yes, that was sarcasm you just detected) and I got to work compiling this little gem:

I submitted it via an email I drafted that communicated, in no uncertain terms, that I am an equal team member of the IEP staff with statements like:
While I realize this video cannot affect her scoring on her standardized testing, it is an important tool in assessing her current skill level as we set her goals together. 

After sending the email to the preschool teacher, I forwarded the entire email to my mom and I believe she replied something like "Well put, Tiger Mom.  Did you really send that?!"

Yes, yes I did.  I think my mom has always been a little caught off guard by my random moments of audacity. 

Tune in next time for a summary of the actual IEP meeting including a perfectly reasonable explanation of why a restraining order has been filed against me...just kidding!

26 comments:

  1. 25? 23? 17? how old is this genius? Only three? This is simply amazing and kudos to you. She is a delight!!!! And my fav part of the post is the adorable picture of you and her. Keep those coming....we all know she is a genius, we need continual cute!!! LOL

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  2. Thank you for sharing!! I follow you on IG and have been thinking about the IEP. We got the phone call last week that it is time to establish my daugthers soon. She will be 3 in April but they want to start the process of transitioning her to the public school system. Your posts have given me a lot to think about and added to my list of questions!! Thank you!!!!!

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  3. Thank you so much for wrting this!! I follow you on IG and I love reading about your girls! I have been thinking about Josie and her IEP a lot! We got the phone call from our case manager with Early Steps (Florida) that we need to get started on establishing my daughter's IEP and start the procces of transfering her to the public school district. Your posts have given me a lot to think about and questions I need to keep in mind. I am new to the special needs world but I certainly don't feel alone when moms like you share your story and journey!! Thank you so much!!

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  4. A BIG A+ Momma Bear!! You and Josie have worked so hard. They have a lot to learn from you!!

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  5. I'm glad that your friend had such great concrete advice for you. I am a pediatric PT. I worked in the school system directly for 2 years, and as a subcontractor for several more. I also am part of a developmental assessment team for birth to 3 year olds at high risk. I always prefer to explain standardized testing to people, and then after allow them to show what their child can do with the other materials (such as your letter blocks). I TOTALLY agree that the parent is a member of the team. I am an expert on physical development and gross motor skills, but you are an expert on your child. I am glad that you made this video, and I will suggest to families that they do the same if they end up in a situation when their child's skills are not evident at the formal assessments.

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  6. Josie is a little smartie pants. Very intelligent!

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  7. WOW, she is very smart for her age! Good Job Mom and Josie!

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  8. Love this! First because it's such an awesome showcase of Josie's brilliance and secondly because it made me realize the exta work I need to be doing with my own three-year-old! Good job, Mama!

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  9. Way to go! And what we would all do without Courtney?! Thanks for sharing this advice and your experience!

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  10. Your little Josie is AMAZING!!!! I work in an integrated preschool program (6 children with disabilities and 6 typically developing kids) very few of even our "typical" kids can identify letters and numbers like Josie can. You have done a beautiful job teaching her. I wish all of our parents were like you!

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  11. I feel bad that little girls and boys have to undergo standardized testing. I understand why though. Well, the alphabet train is probably more fun anyway. Maybe the kindergarten should come over to provide educational services instead of the preschool teacher.

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  12. Elizabeth, you are an amazing mother and you have two amazing daughters. Josie's "skills and abilities" are awesome! She really is SO smart! Way to go, Jo Jo! Also - thanks for the video tip - that's a really neat idea and might come in handy when we start the IEP process :)

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  13. She is so smart for her age! I'm impressed. Good job E. and Travis!

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  14. Way to go, Josie, and kudos to you, Tiger mom. Josie is amazing. I watched this with my ten year old daughter, who after a few seconds commented, "Woah, how old is Josie?" When I said three, she exclaimed, "She's so smart!" No mention of Josie having Down syndrome. When I asked her if she knew Josie has Down sydrome, she replied, "Yes I can see that, but I didn't know having Down syndrome meant 'genius'. Josie is a genius isn't she? Isn't that why her mother made this video - to show everyone that?" The wisdom out of the mouth of babes.

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  15. Lurker that HAD to de-lurk to tell Josie A++++++++++++++!! Mama too! Seriously that is one SMART kiddo! So this video was to skip pre-school and jump right into kinder right?!?! :)

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  16. Great advice! My son is only 16 months old but I'm already terrified of IEP meetings....seems crazy.

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  17. Great advice. We will be making our own videos for the K teachers next year as Alayna STILL doesn't show all her skills at preschool! Remember testing is only a picture of that day, not indicative of all her skills.

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  18. She is amazing! Awesome idea sending them a video. I spent 2 years telling teachers Goldie could identify every upper and lowecase letter. They used to roll their eyes and look at each other like I was crazy. This video leaves no doubt as to how smart and capable Josie is!

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  19. Do you realize just how much Josie knows?? I think your only problem might be that after seeing the video she may not qualify for services. She knows way more stuff than many 3 yr olds who don't have Down syndrome. My daughter knew all that at age 3 but she is now in the highly academically gifted program in our county and my son who is considered typical knew very little of that when he was 3 (he knew shapes, colors and could count to about 5 or 6 only - no letter recognition yet). Josie may not be into gross motor skills, but it sure doesn't look like academics is going to slow her down. She also speaks well. I guess they could work on motor skills like using scissors or something but it looks like you've done their job for them - impressive!

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  20. I agree with the previous comment.... after watching that video she may not get any services! LOL! You should’ve finish the email with a “Follows us on IG and you’ll see more of Josie in action” LOL! She's SO SMART for a 3 year old with Ds!! Which is GREAT! Please don't get me wrong! Is crazy but the system is so messed up that is possible. I went to two parents workshops about IEPs last year before my son's first IEP meeting and they helped me tremendously trough the process. I think is important that we as parents get educated before starting this process to be able to advocate better for our kids.

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  21. First of all, you have clearly done an amazing job with Josie! She is obviously a very bright little girl, and her speech and language skills are phenomenal! I work as an SLP in a developmental preschool, so it is always good for me to be reminded of how things look from a parent's perspective. All good evaluations should include both standardized AND informal assessments. Ideally, a statement should also be included in the report stating whether or not the results of the standardized tests are indicative of the child's true abilities (and why not if they are not). Believe me when I say that the professionals are also often very frustrated by the constraints of standardized testing, especially when it comes to very young children! Also, laws vary by state and have recently changed in the state where I work, but the 3-year timeline for re-evaluation is most likely a minimum. As a parent, you have the right to request a re-evaluation before then if you feel that it is necessary. Whether or not the school system would be required to grant your request is a more complicated issue that boils down to how the laws are written in your state, but I just want to make sure that you know that you don't always have to wait 3 years to have a re-evaulation done if you feel that it is necessary. I hope that you and Josie both end up having a very positive experience with your school system! (And you are absolutely right to keep her home at this point. I know from very personal experience what kinds of germs go around in a developmental preschool!)

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  22. Wow - I'm totally amazed at Josie's ability, especially to recognize numbers greater than 10. I have two very average children (now adults) and I an assure you neither of them were able to recognize numbers and letters to the extent your little Josie does. Good work, both of you!

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  23. Your sweet girl does not need preschool!! LOL!! You have done an amazing job with her!! WOW!! If you are not a teacher, you should be :) Way to go...both YOU and Josie!

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  24. Your sweet girl does not need preschool!! LOL!! You have done an amazing job with her!! WOW!! If you are not a teacher, you should be :) Way to go...both YOU and Josie!

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