Wednesday, April 11, 2012

I Deserve a Raise

WARNING: Do not read if you are consuming food

I sent the following email to my husband today:

Dear Travis,

Today, this was my savior! 
I cannot thank you enough for having the foresight to install this hose on the shower. Holy mother of all that is holy! Josie's high fiber diet backfired this morning in the most horrific way! Explosive...like nuclear explosion! Like all the baby wipes at Sam's wouldn't have begin to put a dent in it. She was COVERED! Legs, stomach, arms, neck...I hosed her down over and over and over. I washed her with antibacterial soap. I Cloroxed every surface in the bathroom.

I deserve a raise.

Love,
Elizabeth

He hasn't responded.  Maybe he's busy with back-to-back meetings.  Or maybe he's pouring over diamonds at the jewelry store trying to decide if I'd prefer earrings or a necklace and if 3 carats is too big.  Or maybe this will be like the day I tried to submit my resignation letter via email.  He refused to accept it.  I'm pretty sure that had something to do with poop, too.



11 comments:

  1. Oh what a day, hoping it is at least 3 carats! Come on Travis!

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  2. Your posts make me smile! I hope tomorrow is better. It should be with beautiful diamond earrings!! :)

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  3. He is probably at the Hardware Store, buying you a bigger shower nozzle - and thinking that is the best gift EVER!
    At least Josie looks like a shiny new penny!! :- )

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  4. V is on MiraLax and sometimes...BOOM! We have some serious explosions here too! Not fun!BUT better than what it could be, I would rather it come out the right way verses the wrong way!

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  5. "holy mother of all that is holy!" BWAHAHAHAHAHA!

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  6. Hope the rest of your day goes better!

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  7. We had this issue on Monday. Horrible. VERY thankful for the shower!

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  8. exploding poop...
    oh why does this happen to us?

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  9. oh my i feel bad for you although i know how disgusting that is except the last time my daughter did that it was at a dr appointment so no bath was optional

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  10. I feel for ya. love watching your babies grow and learn. My babies are all grown up and this brought back some memories. Funny now, not so much then!

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  11. HAHA! I JUST had this happen only with my 6 month old and in the middle of Burlington coat factory. Yes, that's right...in the middle of the STORE! As in poo dripping from onsie family bonding time. I call this a shitastrophe...feel free to use when needed. You're welcome. HAHAHAHA!

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