Aunt Leanne and the Cooler Full of Booze

I originally hesitated to blog this story because it may make us seem like lushes but my friend, Aleksandra, said it was her all-time favorite Aunt Leanne story and that I owe it to the world to share it.  So A, this one's for you...

As loyal readers know, we recently relocated to another part of the country with my hubby's job.  So one of the stipulations of moving is that the movers hired by the company will not haul certain things like weapons, cleaning products, and liquor.  Well, you know how much liquor costs and of course I had a brand new bottle of Patrón and other expensive stuff that I didn't just want to leave behind.  When we drove up here in May, the car was absolutely packed to the gills with all the necessities for us and so we gave our liquor collection to my mom to bring to us when she came to visit over the summer. 

 

Fast forward to last Friday.  Mama Hop pulled into our driveway with our liquor in a huge cooler in her trunk.  She and I were sitting out back on the patio and she asks Leanne to go get her atlas out of her car.  Leanne returns with the atlas and announces that she brought the cooler in, too. 

 

Mama Hop: The cooler?!  How did you lift it?  It's too heavy for you!

Leanne: I didn't.  The guy next door did. 

Me: Who?
Leanne: The guy next door in the yard.  The worker. (My neighbors are getting a sprinkler system installed)

Me: You asked the neighbor's lawn guy to bring in the cooler full of liquor?!?!  What did you say????

Leanne: I said "Here, you carry this.  I'll get the door."

 

My mom and I both looked at each other and started laughing out of mortification at Leanne's audacity.  That is how diva Leanne is!  She thinks the world is her staff!  So she just ordered the neighbor's landscaper to unload my mom's car! 

 

And I turn 25 shades of red wondering if he saw what was in the cooler and what he possibly thought about this adorable little chromosomally enhanced person (most people think she is about 14 years old) directing him to carry her enormous cooler full of booze into the house for her!!!!!  It's not like she asked - she just said "Here - you get this and I'll get the door."  Couldn't you just die?!?!  I barely know these neighbors so it's just that much more embarrassing, but that's my sister for you...

 

That's SO Leanne!

 

*** Mama Hop wanted me to clarify that no open container laws were violated.  She is a law-abiding citizen.

The Fundamentals of Being a Diva

You see, the thing about Leanne is that she is a DIVA!  She's hot stuff and she knows it.  In an attempt to make this abundantly clear, she strikes her signature pose anytime a camera is pointed at her.

It's difficult to find a picture of Leanne when she is not striking some sort of diva pose.  She usually exclaims "Easy Breezy Cover Girl!" right before she tilts her head back and dramatically projects her arms.

As heir to Leanne's diva throne, Leanne thinks it's essential that Josie also learn this iconic pose.

At first she was subtle about it - she simply modeled the stance for Little Miss JoJo.

 Then she decided that further coaching was required. 

 And before long, Josie got the hang of it.

 Atta girl!

Josie earned herself an A+ in "Diva 101".  Easy, Breezy, BEAUTIFUL!