Aunt Leanne and the Cooler Full of Booze

I originally hesitated to blog this story because it may make us seem like lushes but my friend, Aleksandra, said it was her all-time favorite Aunt Leanne story and that I owe it to the world to share it.  So A, this one's for you...

As loyal readers know, we recently relocated to another part of the country with my hubby's job.  So one of the stipulations of moving is that the movers hired by the company will not haul certain things like weapons, cleaning products, and liquor.  Well, you know how much liquor costs and of course I had a brand new bottle of Patrón and other expensive stuff that I didn't just want to leave behind.  When we drove up here in May, the car was absolutely packed to the gills with all the necessities for us and so we gave our liquor collection to my mom to bring to us when she came to visit over the summer. 

 

Fast forward to last Friday.  Mama Hop pulled into our driveway with our liquor in a huge cooler in her trunk.  She and I were sitting out back on the patio and she asks Leanne to go get her atlas out of her car.  Leanne returns with the atlas and announces that she brought the cooler in, too. 

 

Mama Hop: The cooler?!  How did you lift it?  It's too heavy for you!

Leanne: I didn't.  The guy next door did. 

Me: Who?
Leanne: The guy next door in the yard.  The worker. (My neighbors are getting a sprinkler system installed)

Me: You asked the neighbor's lawn guy to bring in the cooler full of liquor?!?!  What did you say????

Leanne: I said "Here, you carry this.  I'll get the door."

 

My mom and I both looked at each other and started laughing out of mortification at Leanne's audacity.  That is how diva Leanne is!  She thinks the world is her staff!  So she just ordered the neighbor's landscaper to unload my mom's car! 

 

And I turn 25 shades of red wondering if he saw what was in the cooler and what he possibly thought about this adorable little chromosomally enhanced person (most people think she is about 14 years old) directing him to carry her enormous cooler full of booze into the house for her!!!!!  It's not like she asked - she just said "Here - you get this and I'll get the door."  Couldn't you just die?!?!  I barely know these neighbors so it's just that much more embarrassing, but that's my sister for you...

 

That's SO Leanne!

 

*** Mama Hop wanted me to clarify that no open container laws were violated.  She is a law-abiding citizen.

Top 10 lessons learned from moving with toddlers

Text from my beloved friend, Courtney: Is moving with 2 toddlers the perpetual bliss I'm envisioning?

My response: Omitted due to inappropriate content

Yes, Folks.  It's been a stressful, fun, sad, joyous, boring, exciting, overwhelming and tearful week.  Here are a few lessons we've learned:

1.  Keep up on the laundry.  Because trying to do 8 loads the day before you leave, while packing for 10 days in a hotel room, with two toddlers undertow, is not fun. 

2.  Regardless of the size of the hotel room that your husband's company benevolently permits you to reserve, it will quickly close in on you when occupied by two adults, two toddlers, one dog, and all of their possessions.  I have some ugly bruises from tripping over stuff. 

3.  Hotel rooms are not babyproof.  Overturned coffee tables and strategically rearranged furniture do not constitute adequate baby-proofing.  Those little rug rats delight in the thrill of a new obstacle course.

 4.  If Mom wants to enjoy a meal in peace, she should probably lock herself in the bathroom and inhale it on the toilet.  The ambiance is less than appetizing, but at least each spoonful won't be interrupted by the pathetic pleas of a shameless toddler and her trusty four-legged sidekick.  "Eat!  Mer-nyn bite?  Lillian bite?   Mer-nyn and Lillian bite!"

5.  Entertaining toddlers in hotel rooms requires creativity.  Whether it's the impromptu toga party or allowing your 3 year-old to prank call the front desk and utter "Call me, maybe!", if it eradicates the whining, do it.

6.   Kids don't sleep as well on interrupted schedules in unfamiliar environments.  Instead of listening to your 3 year-old talk, whine, cry, shake the metal hotel crib and yell "Any Man of Miiiiiiine" for 2 hours during nap time, just put her in the car.  It's like an Ambien on wheels.

7.  Husbands:  When your wife has an unanticipated, irrational, tearful, pre-menstrual breakdown about how she can't take it anymore when you've simply asked her to try to expedite her morning routine, do not try and reason with her.  Just give her a hug and let her have her moment.

8.  On second thought, do not ask a woman who has been solo parenting for 2.5 months, trapped in a car with toddlers for 9 hours, going on her seventh day living out of a suitcase, hauling around two toddlers (one who barely walks and the other who barely listens) without a stroller, to expedite her morning routine.

9.  Bring extra cash to tip the hotel housekeeping staff really well.  When a hotel room is occupied by two toddlers and a canine, you never know when a play-doh-on-the-carpet/blowout-on-the-bed/accident/on-purpose/spill/toss/can-we-please-have-extra-towels-don't-ask-why is going to happen!

10.  All of the above is totally worth it when a side effect of sharing such close quarters means you get to overhear the following conversation spoken between cribs:

Merryn: Night Night JoJo

Josie: Night Night Merryn

Weekend at Mama Hop's House

With our big move just days away, we decided to go see Mama Hop and Aunt Leanne while they are still a toddler-tolerable road trip away.  The Diva hug fest commenced as soon as we walked in the door!

 Considering how difficult it is to pack up and travel with two little ones, Mama Hop and Aunt Leanne usually come to us.  It was a fun change of pace to be on their turf.

My big sister showed me the fundamentals of modeling.

 

Both girls were eager to spend time with Neko, Mama Hop's (in)famous Siamese cat.  To add an extra element of entertainment, we brought our ferocious not-quite-4-lb Maltese, Lillian, to challenge Neko's "alpha" title.  Bark, hiss, scamper, chase, repeat was the soundtrack to our weekend.

 The gorgeous and conceited cat wasn't the only entertainment available to the girls; they also had a fantastic time exploring Mama Hop's breakable treasures including her global bell collection...

 ...and her prized baby grand piano...

 ...which houses the shrine to our little clan.

 Mama "MacGyver" Hop set out to prove how you can baby proof a home with nothing more than a few rubber bands and paper clips.  Merryn happily accepted that challenge and raised Mama Hop one set of antique china.

 

It's a good thing Aunt Leanne was there to lay down the law and keep those little girls in line.

 We find that spending time outdoors is a perfect way to entertain toddlers. 

 The benefit is twofold: 1. If they're outdoors, they're not inside tearing up the house and

 2. All that fresh air and exercise wears 'em out so they go to bed early and sleep really well!

Leanne put Merryn in her bed.  Merryn thought she was a big deal! 

 

Our other weekend activities consisted of going to church (so Mama Hop could show off those grand babies, of course), eating at Mama Hop's second choice Mexican restaurant (first choice was closed), a little shopping (Folks, I am a Maxxonista!), and enjoying time together as a family around a table full of Mama Hop's delicious home cooking.

 Leanne insists everyone smell her after she gets out of the shower.  She says "Do I smell clean?"  It's a strange tradition but it's important to Leanne so we play along.

 

One of the funniest moments of the weekend involved Aunt Leanne's signature pose.

 I pointed the camera at Josie and asked her to "pose like Aunt Leanne" and she whipped this out:

Yes, our 3 year-old's size 2T pants are sagging worse than Justin Bieber's.

 

They both crack me up!

It was sad to have to say goodbye to Mama Hop and Aunt Leanne but we know we'll see them as often as possible regardless of the increased distance between us.  Furthermore, Mama Hop has learned how to Skype so we "see" each other all the time!

 

Just a warning that the blog may be neglected for awhile as we set out on our moving adventure.  While Travis' company sends movers to pack up our stuff and load the truck, we still have to pack up the essentials for this family of four (plus Lillian) in anticipation of what could be a 10 day hotel stay (hopefully less)!  I am currently procrastinating packing as we speak :-) 

We will try our best to update you along the journey up north but we can't promise.  Either way, we will take lots and lots of photos and we can't wait to post again from our new house as our new adventure begins!

 

Footnote: While at Mama Hop's house, I swiped some photo albums so that I could scan and share some more childhood photos of Aunt Leanne and I.  I got some priceless material that I can't wait to reveal!



A Stroll Down Memory Lane

Our impending move is quickly approaching and even though we've moved many times in the past, this time is different.  Moving is always an emotional experience.  Leaving the wonderful neighbors, colleagues, and friends we made in various cities is always hard.  But those other moves never came close to eliciting this degree of sentimentality.

 

Our lives changed dramatically in the past four years that we've lived in this home.  We went from being two carefree young professionals to being parents.  We became a family in this house.  We brought our babies home to this house. 

 

This is the family room where Josie sat perched on her trusty, giraffe-print, circular mat, for months and months and months (16 to be exact) until she became mobile.  Meanwhile, Merryn was perched on that mat for about 30 seconds before she decided she'd rather be on the go and into everything, actively challenging my OCD with her hurricane force energy.

 

This room is my favorite.  It started as an office and we decided to turn it into a playroom when we became pregnant with Merryn.  Adorable hot air balloons created by Travis (aka "Crafty Dad") adorn the wall as the morning light floods in through a big window flanked with soft green curtains.  The girls spend most of their day in this room, reading books, having picnics, and dancing along with the singing animal collection.

This is our patio where a big, beautiful hackberry tree shelters us from the summer sun and holds a little red baby swing that has evoked countless gummy grins.  On this patio, the unmistakable sounds of a Midwestern summer evening fill the air- cheers echoing from the softball game at the park across the street, and the faint melody that trails from the ice cream truck as it beckons neighborhood children.  This is where we've fired up the grill, watched fireworks, and had many late night talks over a couple of beers after the girls are fast asleep.

 

At the end of the hall is the nursery where our girls sleep side by side every night.  Its decor is gender neutral, strategically designed to be equally welcoming to either a boy or a girl when we got the call that every adoptive parent yearns for.  A giant oxygen tank and pulse oximeter serve as poignant reminders of the arduous journey that Josie traveled from her days as a medically fragile infant to a thriving toddler.  Many a bedtime story has been read in that cozy brown rocker and many a morning fist bump has been extended between those cribs. 

 

Like most formal dining rooms, this one was only used on holidays but those occasions held the most significant memories.  At this dining room table, we announced our intentions to adopt a baby with Down syndrome to my mom and sister.  One year later, that precious baby sat in her daddy's arms at this same table, surrounded by the adoring gazes of a family who was profoundly grateful for the blessing we had received.  This is where we proudly displayed our pint-sized Christmas tree and nativity set every December, and it's where we exchanged the gifts we'd lovingly selected for each other on Christmas morning.  This is also where we shared our last meal with my dad, who was painfully weak and frail from cancer, but he was determined to fulfill his promise to join us for Thanksgiving.

 

On one level, it's just four walls and a roof in a family-friendly neighborhood in a wholesome Midwestern town; a mere real estate listing consisting of bedrooms, bathrooms, and square footage.  But to us, it's a sanctuary where we laughed, loved, lost, and realized our dreams.  And the gravity of that, my friends, cannot be underestimated.

 

Going forward, we will establish another sanctuary.  We will share new experiences.  We will realize new dreams.  But this stop along memory lane will always be sacred and forever cherished.

Head Diva In Charge

Early Friday morning, Travis and I flew up to the Arctic Circle (just kidding...kind of) to take care of some new house business and we left Mama Hop and Aunt Leanne in charge of the girls.  After their coronation, it was down to business as usual.

 Once Leanne changed into her robe and got comfy, it was time for the standard, ordinary, run-of-the-mill hug fest between the two most affectionate members of the family. 

 Of course Josie was eager to consume the hearty helping of love, undivided attention, and spoiling that Aunt Leanne always dishes out.

And Merryn was eager to consume a hearty helping of anything that Mama Hop dishes out because it's not every day that she gets cuisine that rivals Rachel Ray, Giada De Laurentiis, and Paula Deen combined!

We are so grateful that Mama Hop and Aunt Leanne were willing to assume all childcare responsibilities so that Travis and I could focus on selecting cabinets, paint, and flooring for our new igloo abode.  It's a luxury to be able to have a childless getaway, and even though we were very anxious to have our girls back in our arms, it gave us great peace of mind to know that they were having a blast back home.  Here are a few more photos that will be familiar to Instagram followers:

According to preliminary reports, the girls improved their grade substantially from the last time Aunt Leanne babysat. Tune in tomorrow for the update straight from the Diva's mouth.