Mama Hop's Potty Training Academy

Potty training toddlers with Down syndrome seems to be a common topic on the minds of many of my fellow mamas these days.  I'd be lying if I didn't admit that I, too, am looking for the secret to making this concept click for Josie.

I began my "soft launch" approach to potty training more than a year ago by setting Josie on the toilet after her meals.  Even though she didn't really have all the skills she needed to grasp the idea, I still wanted to familiarize herself with the concept.  When we moved into our current home, we asked the builder to install a special preschool-sized potty in the girls' bathroom:

While the pint-sized potty was a great idea, it required a few tweaks including a new, narrower seat, and a special ramp as it was still a little too high for Josie to reach considering her gross motor delays (to read more about the potty ramp, click HERE).

 It became clear that my "soft launch" approach wasn't going to get the job done for either of my daughters so I purchased a book that came highly recommended from a friend ("Toileting Without Tantrums" by John Rosemond) and I did a potty training weekend.  The advice in the book worked brilliantly for Merryn.  At 2 and a half, she is fully potty trained and does not have to be reminded to go, nor does she need to be accompanied to the restroom.  Josie, on the other hand, still requires full parental assistance.

Of course my mom has offered her two cents while boasting that Leanne was potty trained by age 3, and being the obedient daughter that I am, I simply rolled my eyes and chalked it up to another one of my mom's hazy memories that glamorizes motherhood.  That's about as convincing as her vowing that "Childbirth doesn't really hurt!  You don't need drugs.  As soon as they put that precious baby in your arms, you forget about any minor discomfort you may have had."  Um, okay Mom.  Sounds good.

Then I found this photo and many more like it showcasing my sister, as a toddler, in "big girl underpants":

And as much as it hurts my fragile ego, I was forced to unroll my eyes and enlist in my mom's sage advice.  After receiving additional inquiries for Mama Hop's assistance from fellow blogosphere mama's, I asked Mama Hop to turn her wisdom into a lucrative business venture and I'm happy to announce that Mama Hop is now accepting applications to:

That's right.  For an affordable fee of $199.99 per day you can send your child to Mama Hop's Potty Training Academy where Mama Hop will see to it that your chromosomally enhanced child is sporting big kid underpants faster than Leanne can say "F+" !  That is, unless, of course, said child exceeds his/her quota of F pluses as issued by Aunt Leanne and is consequently dishonorably discharged from Potty Training Academy.

Just kidding!

We figured it would be easier just to have Mama Hop do a guest blog post about the topic.  By popular demand, heeeeeeeerrrrrreee's Mama Hop:

By Request: Leanne's Potty Training by Mama Hop

        Exactly 35 years ago, Aunt Leanne began potty training at 18 months. The first time she sat on the potty seat, she did #2!  It was purely coincidental, but a thrill.  She did not have the necessary muscle control, but was introduced to the procedure.  She could not walk independently so not a lot was expected, but familiarity with the routine.

      To familiarize her with it, I modeled and sat on the commode across from her.  Her potty chair looked like an adult toilet without all the bells and whistles like today.

        Leanne stayed in diapers for over a year beyond that time.  Back then, diaper tabs weren't resealable and pull ups were not invented.  (I often thought of inventing them and wish I had put a patent on them,).  Many dry diapers were wasted, but consistency was the key.  We stuck to a 4 hour schedule with the cooperation of pre-school teachers and care-givers.  When we traveled, the potty seat was in the trunk and business was done on the roadside.

      Leanne began walking independently and sleeping in a "big girl bed" at age 2.  That is when serious potty training really began.  She required assistance with removing diapers, wiping and hand washing.  It was done with hand-over-hand.  Eventually she was able to do it all.

       She did use overnight diapers until age 3.  We would use the potty right before bedtime and the first thing in the morning.  She eventually stayed clean and dry overnight.

        In addition to patience, much praise and reinforcement took place with much cheering and clapping.  We had a potty chart taped to the wall and put a sticker star on it with each success.

        Of course, occasional accidents happened, but Leanne was basically trained by age 3.  That was a good thing, because Elizabeth came along and it was time to start over!

Things that worked:

--consistency

--scheduling

--cooperation from care givers

--assistance as needed

--praise and reinforcement (potty chart with stickers and stars)

Merryn holding one of Mama Hop's famous potty charts

Hallelujah Dad's Home

Cue the Mormon Tabernacle Choir: look who just walked in!  As Josie would say "It's DAD!"  Yes, it is.  After wrapping up his second international business trip of the month, we are delighted to report that Dad is home (even if he does kind of smell like he's been traveling for 36 hours straight)!

Merryn has recently taken an interest in geography and she loves to spin the globe and identify the locations that she's learned.  It seems to offer comfort when she misses her dad.  Here she shows us where her dad has been:

And you know Dad wouldn't ditch us for that long and return empty-handed.  No sirree.  He knows those airport gift shows aren't just for browsing to occupy time between flights.  There are four and a half girls at home (if you count our dog and unborn child occupying my uterus) just waiting to see what treasures Dad picked up along his journey.

In true Merryn ("functional firstborn") form, she retrieves the gift from Dad, gently tears a corner of the paper to help her sister get started, then she holds the package in front of her sister - mind you, refusing to actually hand the gift to her sister - then she gently encourages Josie to remove the wrapping.  

 As soon as the literary introduction to Dutch vocabulary is unwrapped, Little Miss Bossy Pants holds the book and "reads" it to Josie.

 Then it's time for the grand finale of souvenir distribution: Dad unveils a neon green rooster who dances around and sings the most auditorily offensive tune so loudly it can be heard from any room in the house.  Josie loved it.  However, after about 10 minutes straight of the same screechy melody playing on repeat, Merryn came running in our room, demanding we turn it off.  Girlfriend couldn't handle another second of it and honestly, who could blame her?

Of course my sweetie didn't forget his beloved wife, pregnant with two toddlers, who had been single parenting solo in the dead of winter in the tundra.  The one really cool thing about Dad's global travel responsibilities is that he has access to some fabulous shopping that is only available in larger metro areas.  This month's travels were good for gift sets from both L'Occitane and Mac Cosmetics - neither of which is available locally.  When I commented on his insightful cosmetic color choices he recounted a story to me about how he approached a lady who worked at the Mac store in the Amsterdam airport and stammered "Uh, do you have any lip gloss?"  LOL!  Can't you just picture it?!  Even though he doesn't have a feminine bone in his body, Mr. Practicality is happy to indulge in my obsession with cosmetics and skincare because the items are small and take up minimal room in his luggage.

Thoughtful gifts notwithstanding, it's never easy to be without my better half for that long.  In true Murphy's Law fashion, we always seem to encounter more obstacles when he's halfway across the globe.  Last week, Josie ran a fever of 103 at 8pm on a Sunday night.  After pulling up her medical records and realizing how serious her health history has been, the phone nurse told me to bring her to the ER immediately.  Pregnant mama, two toddlers, dead of winter in the Arctic Circle, blizzard conditions, 8pm trip to the ER?!  No thank you!  After the nurse insisted I speak with the doctor on call, we agreed it was in Josie's best interest to avoid the RSV-ridden ER at all costs.  Which left mom waking up every 4 hours to check her temperature and oxygen saturations and administer Tylenol via g-tube.  It was rough.  But we are so grateful because as we've seen in the past, it could have been much worse.

And that's why these occasions always make me stop and reflect in complete admiration for the military wives and single mothers out there who deal with these challenges solo day in and day out.  While it's an empowering feeling to know you can handle it, it can't trump the relief of seeing Dad's smiling face walk through the door.  Welcome home, Dad.

Happy Birthday Great Grandma

Today we'd like to take a moment to recognize a wonderful woman who is celebrating a very special birthday!

Travis' grandma had four kids within four years (3 years and 9 months to be exact - talk about an impressive feat of motherhood!) and she now has 11 grandchildren and 10 great grandchildren (almost 11).  You want to hear what makes her extra special?  At our wedding, my sister told Travis' Grandma that she doesn't have a grandma anymore as our grandma had just died, and Travis' Grandma did not hesitate to say "Well, I'll be your grandma!" and she most certainly has taken Leanne in as an additional grandchild.  She sends her cards and gifts just as if she was one of her own grandchildren and my sister regards her as her own grandma.  It's really heartwarming.

So Great Grandma, here's a little message from Merryn and Josie in celebration of YOU:


We hope you have a wonderful birthday filled with love, laughter, family, and friends!

Siblings: The Impact of Special Needs on Birth Order

I am frequently asked what it was like growing up with a sibling with special needs and that is a really difficult questions to answer because 1. It's just a BROAD question 2. I don't have any typically developing siblings so I don't really know any different.

 As I watch my daughters grow and interact, I identify so much with Merryn and I realize that there are many similarities, but there are also distinct differences.  For one, Leanne is three-and-a-half years older than I am, where as Josie is only sixteen months older than Merryn.  Merryn caught up to Josie's developmental age a lot sooner than I did with Leanne.  Consequently, I think Josie and Merryn switched birth order roles much sooner than Leanne and I did.  What do I mean by birth order roles?

 Many people subscribe to a theory that birth order dictates personality traits (source).  For example:

First Born - Conscientious, Cautious, Controlling, Achievers

Middle Child - Social, People-Pleasers, Rebellious

Last Born - Fun-Loving, Outgoing, Manipulative, Attention-Seekers

What happens when you have an older sibling with special needs is that you become what is known as a "functional first born" - in other words, you tend to take on more traits of a first born regardless of your actual birth order.  This definitely happened for me and it's already happening for Merryn. 

To this day, Leanne will be the first person to tell you that I'm "bossy".  Growing up I would demand she play with me, select the game, and dictate the rules.  The other night Travis was telling me how Merryn was sharing her coloring book with Josie but Merryn told Josie what letters she was allowed to color and she held her hand over Josie's hand while manipulating the pen - never once did she hand the pen over to Josie to use on her own accord.

But just as Merryn likes to control a situation, she is also quite nurturing.  She attempts to feed Josie at every meal even though we're desperately trying to stress the importance of Josie feeding herself independently (Josie is delighted to be fed).

Merryn imposes her help upon Josie all throughout the day.  The other night I snapped this picture of Merryn insisting that she be the one to "read" a bedtime story to Josie instead of mom.  I've had the distinct feeling that Merryn is trying to replace me as the "mother" on more than one occasion.  I call her our "Little Mother Hen".  

And that's one way in which Merryn and I are a little bit different.  Because I did not developmentally surpass Leanne until later on, I didn't have the opportunity to be quite as nurturing towards her.  Leanne was six when I was Merryn's age so she was much more self-sufficient than Josie is now.

But despite being functional first borns, I think Merryn and I still maintain that younger sibling perspective that our older sister is the coolest person to walk the planet!

 Growing up, I thought Leanne was awesome.  She was my big sister and there was a certain degree of idolization that came with the territory.  There still is - I still think she's the cutest, funniest, most charismatic individual to ever grace the earth and I dare you to try to tell me otherwise!  

Likewise, Merryn idolizes Josie.  It was evident early on and it still is - remember this post (Click Here, Mom)?  Josie wears Hip Helpers - special support shorts that are supposed to correct excessive hip abduction associated with low muscle tone.  Well, the other day Merryn wanted to wear a pair of Hip Helpers, too.  Because if Josie has them, then they epitomize cool!

And you see Merryn's hair?  That's a "ponytail" (or as close as we could come).  She insisted on having a ponytail because Josie had a ponytail.  The request was a little easier to fulfill than last week when Merryn insisted on having a "braid like JoJo's".  Similarly, Merryn loves to try on Josie's orthodics.  And even though Merryn has her own tricycle, she'd much rather ride Josie's adaptive tricycle.

 But while I highlight the way we embody birth order stereotypes, I'll be the first to point out that they are solely that - stereotypes.  We all know people who are the exception to the "birth order rules" (Britney Spears, JFK, and Donald Trump - to name a few).  But it is an interesting idea to examine when we think about the components that make up our personalities and how influential a sibling can be in that process.

Come Stroll Down Memory Lane

Last week, on the anniversary of my father's passing, I mustered up my nerve to open up several boxes of photos and family mementos that had been sent to me from his estate. These boxes sat sealed in a closet for months.  I was waiting for the perfect time to open them.  You know, that day when you wake up with a strong urge to go back to a dark place of mourning and depression and cry your eyes out.  Oddly enough, that day never came.  So I forced myself to tackle this little project on the anniversary of his death.

And to my shock and amazement, there was nothing sad about it.  In fact, it was a good time!  And I now have TONS of fun photos from the past to share on the blog when I reminiscence about growing up (that is if our scanner would become a little more cooperative than it was tonight).  Does this face look familiar?

 No, contrary to popular belief, that's not Merryn. It's yours truly on my grandparents' patio.  I remember the green AstroTurf patio flooring like it was yesterday.

Here I am again:

 Leanne and I were born in Florida and I learned that my mom must have abhorred laundry as much as I do.  Either that or she just loved naked babies.  Because we were frequently without clothes.  I'm thinking about moving to Florida and opening up my own little family nudist colony to reduce my laundry stress.  On second thought, I better not - Gymboree might fold.

I know you guys recognize this face:

 No, it's not Josie.  That's good old Aunt Leanne!  

Don't you just want to pick her up and squeeze her?  Cute doesn't even begin to describe her!

 And here we are together.  My mom told me that she made that Humpty Dumpty doll that I'm holding.  Apparently I was obsessed with Humpty Dumpty and she couldn't find one in the stores so she decided to make one.  How sweet and maternal and domestic is that?!  My kids would be lucky if I printed off a photo from the Internet for them to color! 

Ok, ok...we must end our stroll down memory lane here for now.  You would understand if you knew how long it took me to scan these five photos.  But I assure you even better ones will appear in the future!  Mom, you know what I'm talking about - blackmail!  Hahahahaha!  (Sorry folks - that was  a little inside joke just to keep Mama Hop on her toes!)  Special thanks to my Dad for being the pack rat that he was because these photos are the most cherished things he left me.

Cheap and Convenient Therapy

I've always asked my parents how they graduated college without the internet.  

You went to the what - the library?!  *Gasp!*  That sounds awful!  

Likewise, I've asked mothers of grown children how they parented without Google.  Seriously, what did you do when there was an odd health symptom, a developmental milestone inquiry, or a behavioral issue that you had a question about?  

You asked your mom/grandma/neighbors/friends?  Wow!

It's amazing how times have changed and how easy it is for us to become dependent upon the technology that didn't even exist a couple of decades ago.  Take for example, Instagram: you can take a picture with your cell phone, upload it to Instagram, add a cute caption, and share it with hundreds of "followers" within seconds.  This is a little collage of snapshots from my week:

Every picture tells a story - a story of a week I'd like to like to forget much of.  It was a tough week of solo parenting for me, as Travis was on an international business trip.  Josie, still reeling from a disrupted schedule of holiday excitement followed by the sudden absence of her father, decided to protest by refusing to eat, refusing to stay in bed, and completely disregarding every other request I had of her.  Her little sister and number one wing-woman, followed suit.  This week also marked the anniversary of my father's passing which is always a difficult time when you've lost a loved one.  It's almost like the kids can tell that I'm pregnant, hormonal, emotional, exhausted, alone, and completely vulnerable and they exploit that to the fullest extent of my sanity.  

Ah, but then I read a few  blog posts from fellow mothers and I immediately feel less alone.  The blogosphere provides a community where frazzled moms can come together and commiserate - a cheap and convenient form of therapy indeed.

You know what else is cool about technology?  We live 800 miles from everything and everyone we've ever known and yet by using FaceTime, this nifty little app on the iPhone, we can have real time, "face-to-face" conversations with friends and family like  we do with Mama Hop and Aunt Leanne.  It also comes in really handy in allowing the girls to keep in touch with their dad while he's traveling.

As I look at those faces of the people I love, suddenly I start to smile.  I am so grateful that technology can bring us together in spite of our geographical distance.

I am also grateful for this blogosphere community where we can share anecdotes, camaraderie, and support with friends across the globe.  

I didn't make a New Years resolution but I'm thinking I should resolve to blog more.  It's not that I don't have reflections and stories to share.  In fact, I write elaborate and compelling blog posts in my head while I'm driving.  Then I arrive home and my reality of feeding, potty-training, laundry, preschool, therapy, dishes, etc. etc. etc. hits and blogging falls about 50 spots on the priority list.  And then 8pm rolls around and my children are soundly sleeping and the it takes every last fragment of energy I have to load the remaining dishes into the dishwasher, fold the last load of laundry, and crawl into bed.  I know all you moms (especially the pregnant ones) hear me.  Can I get an Amen?  

So in the meantime, you can confirm that we're still alive and kicking by checking Instagram (follow us @CatfishWithKetchup).  For those without Instagram, you can still see the pictures we're sharing by coming to the blog www.ConfessionsOfTheChromosomallyEnhanced.com and clicking on the Instagram feed by scrolling down in the column on the right.  

Did you catch that, Mom?  Ok, never mind.  We'll FaceTime you later :-) 

* This post has been brought to you by pregnancy insomnia.  Exhaustion that drives you to tears followed by an inability to sleep;  just one of the many joys of facilitating the miracle of life.

Christmas 2013 in Pictures

I was initially disappointed in myself for not taking enough pictures over Christmas but when I actually found time to sit and go through them, I realized I took more pictures than I anticipated so this blog post will be a bit of a photo dump but it will be a fun one - I promise!  Check this out:

 I have no idea what I accidentally clicked on to get cheesy twinkling light effect but it makes me laugh so I left it alone.  I hope that comes across on everyone else's monitors.

This year we hosted "Christmas in the Tundra" with Travis' family.  We were so proud of them for bundling up in their snow gear and boarding a plane for the snowy north.  Our winter weather is not for the faint of heart.  While YaYa and Papa had been here before (who could forget THIS adventure in babysitting), we were excited to give them the winter experience along with Travis' big brother, Corey, and his beautiful daughter, Abby.

 Abby is an awesome cousin.  She's sweet and fun and she's always smiling!

Abby doted on our girls and they loved every minute of it!  She's seven and you know how much little kids love it when the "big kids" pay attention to them.  Abby hosted tea parties, read books, and she pushed Merryn on the swing.  She even helped the girls with their preschool homework. 

One morning we were lucky enough to watch Abby perform a violin concert in our family room.  Abby is a talented little violinist.  Josie, our resident music lover, enjoyed it so much that she sang along with the songs regardless of whether they were intended to be sing-along-songs or not!

The girls also loved spending time with their YaYa and Papa.  They got to go to brunch and the zoo.  I know what you're thinking: 'Who goes to the zoo in December in the Tundra?!'  Well, not I - that's for sure.  That's why there are no photos of this zoo excursion featured here.  Only Dad, Corey, Papa, Abby, and Merryn were brave enough to take a winter stroll through the zoo.  And based on the photos I saw on Abby's ipad, it looked like they had a good time!

 YaYa has all sorts of songs and videos on her iphone and unlike mean old mom, YaYa doesn't mind if the girls play with her phone.  They may have accidentally texted her pet sitter and called China, but there was no harm done ;-)

And you know Papa is always good for a laugh.  He loves his granddaughters, which is good, seeing as how we're cooking up another one for him to entertain!

 Oh, but the highlight of this holiday visit for Josie was - hands down - Uncle Corey.

 Do you see this expression of gleeful adoration?

 The child literally seeks Uncle Corey out and just gazes at him with this starry-eyed grin while giggling uncontrollably.  No one has been this enamored with another human being since Marsha Brady met Davy Jones!  It's the funniest thing.  

Corey is the kind of fun that makes Josie protest nap time just so she doesn't miss a moment, resulting in her passing out on the playroom floor like a crime scene chalk drawing at 5 o'clock at night!

 Yes, my friends, this is the aftermath of Beatlemania - or UncleCoreyMania!

Overall, Christmas 2013 was fantastic!  It was the kind of fun, laughter, and family bonding that memories are made of.